About Me

I'm a Geordie living in Birmingham, and, after a year and a half, people still laugh at the way I say film.

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Karma Chameleon

You come and go, you come and go. Today, i'm talking about the K word. Karma is a funny thing. Some people say it makes the world go around, and in some way, yes, it probably does. Do good things, and good things will happen to you. But although that sounds easy enough, sometimes it can be hard to keep the faith. Sometimes you'll do a lot of good and nothing will come of it, and sometimes you'll see someone getting things they don't deserve because they're a bad person. The key to Karma is you just have to keep on keeping on.

I like a good analogy so here's one for Karma that I made earlier. Karma is like a penny drop machine in an arcade. You put a penny in, and, fingers crossed, that penny will push more out, therefore rewarding you for the faith you had in the first place. Sometimes it happens straight away, with your first penny. Other times, it can take a while. You could spend a whole pound (doesn't sound like much but thats a hundred goes!) and get nothing in return. The key is to believe in it. If you have it in you to persevere, eventually you'll get that money to drop.

Karma. Keep doing good things, don't lose faith, and it will come back around. I think George Harrison can sum it up here:

It's gonna take time, a whole lot of precious time

Cheers George

Stay safe

Monday, 10 May 2010

You wanted the best, you got the best, the hottest band in the world...


The words rang out through the LG arena as Modern Day Delilah kicked in and Eric Singer pounded the drums. From behind him, Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley and Tommy Thayer rose like Gods while fireworks went off all around them.

And thats how the greatest gig of my life so far began.

It was Wednesday the fifth of May, and I had just handed in an Autobiography that was hideously over the given word count (4766 words over to be precise), and I was in need of some r&r. I knew what was happening for the rest of that day. I was going to be giggling like a school girl for the next 12 hours, knowing that I was going to see the Spaceman, the Demon, the Cat and the Starchild do what they did best: rock and roll all night and party every day. I hurried to town to meet Paul and Danny, my best friends, at the train station. They were travelling from the motherland to be there with me that night, and as soon as we saw each other, the excitement level rose. we headed back to 219 HQ, to have some tea, chill out, have some bevvies, and put our slap on for the gig. As there were only three of us, no one was going to be made up as the Cat. But no one wants to be the cat. No one wants to be Peter Criss. Not even Peter Criss wants to be Peter Criss. So no major loss as we got prepared. I assumed my role as Ace Frehley/Tommy Thayer AKA The Spaceman. Danny took up the post of Paul Stanley AKA The Starchild. And Paul, our resident lady killer, donned the guise of Gene Simmons AKA The Demon. We were tipsy, made up, and ready to rock, so into the taxi we went.

The Taxi driver had no knowledge of KISS, and looked perplexed and mildly terrified the whole way to the arena. However, being a great guy, he said that rather than get another taxi home at the end of the night, to just ring his number and he'd come back for us. Sorted. No taxi to worry about after the gig, now we just had to enjoy ourselves.

And that we did.

Here's the Setlist:

Modern Day Delilah
Cold Gin
Let Me Go, Rock 'N' Roll
Say Yeah
Crazy Crazy Nights
Dr. Love
Shock Me
I'm An Animal
100,000 Years
I Love It Loud
Love Gun
Black Diamond
Detroit Rock City

WOW. What a setlist. A great mix of old and new, although some classics like Strutter and Hotter Than Hell could have took the place of say 100,000 Years and Firehouse. But they weren't finished yet. Did somebody say encore?

Lick It Up
Shout It Out Loud
I Was Made For Loving You
God Gave Rock 'n' Roll To You
Rock And Roll All Nite

Boom. Five song encore? Yes Please! Great way to end the gig, but it wasn't just the songs that made it special. How about Spaceman and The Cat having a solo duel, before Spaceman launched some fireworks from his guitar? How about The Demon slapping the hell out of his bass before spreading his wings and flying up to the scaffolding high above the stage? How about The Starchild grabbing on and flying out over the audience to a stage in the middle of the crowd. Everything about this band screams showmanship. The Amazing light and sound show. The pyrotechnics being as hot as hell and dazzling to look at. The costumes. The make up. The ridiculously high boots. This band have still got it, and I hope they have it for a long time to come yet.

Best. Gig. Ever.

Stay safe

P.S If you fancy looking at some pictures of what we looked like at the gig, and some pictures from the gig (coming soon), check this out:

Sunday, 9 May 2010

As I sit here on the 13.06 from Newcastle to Manchester, it is peaceful. The train is quite empty and there is an air of calm on the train. It's a Sunday, people are tired and just want to get home, so the enjoy the peace and quiet.

Until it is broken at York. Magnificently broken like a sledgehammer breaking through a brick wall. As I write this to you my fearless reader, I can hear the half drunk half hungover tones of what is inevitabley a stag do or lads weekend of sorts, screaming their lungs out about nothing and everything. They're from Manchester I think, judging by their accents. Their annoying lager lout accents which sound more like a drunken moan than anything else. I just wanted to sit here and read my book in peace, but these men grabbed peace, gagged it, stuffed it in a duffle bag and threw it out of a moving train window. One of them has just said 'we haven't even got tickets'. Do they know where this train is even going? Or in their stupor have they wandered on assuming it's like a taxi and it'll take them wherever they want to go?

They've merged with a howling group of middle aged women who all have filthy laughs. And here comes the ticket inspector. This should be good. He approaches like a shark stalking a flock of seagulls on the surface of the water. Even if it catches one in it's jaws it's a victory. They laugh in his face. He walks away with their money. I think we know who won that. One needs the toilet. He looks through the carriage door, sees that it's a stones throw away and announces, to the whole train, 'oh no, i'm not walkin all t' way down there'. Please don't piss on the door instead mate.

Back to the women and their filthy filthy laughs. They're the kind of filthy laughs that hint at a dirty girls weekend with straws shaped like cocks and chocolate shaped like cocks and all manner of other things shaped like cocks. The kind of filthy laugh that suggests the only thing missing from said dirty weekend was an actual cock.

For all my ranting about these blokes, I bet I'm no different when I'm jazzed up after a few bevvies on the weekend. I guess it's that hipocrisy we all have in small amounts. It comes out when you're alone and you see a group having a good time. I guess you just have to remember that at some point or another were all that loud group on the train. I just hope when I'm that group there are leas cock shaped things abound.

Stay safe

- On the fly

Thursday, 6 May 2010

I'm not a cleaner...

So why every time I use a public bathroom do I have to clean up someone elses piss before I can sit down? Is there no sense of cleanliness anymore? I mean it's not hard is it, if you dribble a bit (or in most cases piss all over on the seat) to just tear off a bit of paper and wipe up after yourself. This is something the pm candidates should look at sorting out. On the spot fines for pissing on toilet seats. It would stop people doing it and the fines could pay for courses teaching people how to clean up after themselves. It's a serious problem that needs solving, and fast. Use yor vote wisely today, because it could be you who next sits in piss.

PS. Stay tuned for a review of the hottest band in the world, KISS, later this weekend.

Stay safe

- On the fly

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